Any mom of twins would agree that having multiples is a blessing and something truly special to experience. We know strangers are going to take double takes and even ask a few questions, but there are some questions that are just so silly we wish they would end!
- Are they twins? This is definitely the most common opening line that people will ask. “Are they twins?” is basically is the equivalent to “Have you been here before” in the dating world. Don’t feel guilty about smiling and saying “No” in an effort to avoid the next nine questions!
- Are they identical? Now this may not seem too silly when you have two girls or two boys, but when you have a boy and a girl together, it just seems ridiculous to have to answer. This is only topped with the follow-up question, “Are you sure?” when you explain that no, they are not identical. I once had a stranger try to tell me that my boy/girl twins were identical because their faces looked so much alike. I was actually starting to explain the difference in boys and girls when I was thankfully saved by another silly question from a stranger.
- Were they natural? Yes, they were natural because aren’t all babies? While you know what they are really asking, this silly question is just inappropriate.
- How come their names don’t match? While all twins in 1990s television sitcoms had matching names, not every parent today wants to scream that their kids are twins. Most parents of twins will tell you they want their twins to also be strong individuals, and not having matching names helps. Matching names can also cause a paperwork nightmare and parents of twins don’t need any more headaches with paperwork than necessary!
- Do you have your hands full? What gave that away? The fact that in the time you have managed to ask that question, one has crawled out of the stroller and the other has emptied our diaper bag? The only thing that makes this question more silly is when people follow it up by telling you they know how you feel because they had two kids close in age.
- Were you trying for twins? There is actually no good answer for this and it’s likely the most awkward on the list. When a parent of twins is asked this, it is often followed by a strange moment of silence and staring contest with the stranger as you try to figure out how to answer without insulting them.
- Are you done now? The same stranger would never ask a parent of two singletons if they were done. Some people may wish they could have more children and simply can’t or some people may be planning on having several children.
- Which one is the good one? The first time I was asked this, I told the stranger that these were the good ones and we left the evil triplet at home. The Q&A session ended. Refer back to question #7; this is just never appropriate or would never be asked of parents of singletons.
- Do twins run in your family? The classic answer for this is of course “Yes, they run around my living room every day,” but by the time I get to the question, I am usually so exhausted I just smile and say yes. However, this almost always leads to the next question, “On your mom’s or dad’s side?”
- Did you deliver them? I think this comes out of stranger’s mouths before they realize how personal in nature this question is. Unless you want to hear the vivid details of my labor and vaginal birth with my twins, it is time to smile and walk away!
Regardless of how silly, crazy or personal the questions seem, just keep a level head and a smile on your face. Most people are truly just curious about the world of twins and we’ve all been privileged enough to be part of it!